LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WALK AROUND WITH BAD NAILS!

‘Oh my God, oh no, that doesn’t look good at all’ I thought to myself as the nail technician painted my toe. I then mouthed quietly to my friend that I didn’t like the color at all. I felt my anxiety level rising, mind you, this is all happening over just a few seconds. Do I say something? I don’t want to upset her. What do I do? I hate this color on me! ‘Ummm excuse me, I’m really sorry but I don’t like this color. Is there any way I can pick a different one?’ I hold my breath hoping she isn’t mad. ‘Oh yes of course you can, what color do you want? Definitely pick a color you like.’ All was spoken with a smile and extremely happy tone. She was happy to help me and didn’t want me keeping a color on that I wasn't happy with.  I decided on a much lighter shade of pink rather than the hot pink that I had originally chosen and I was in love with it.  As soon as my technician painted the new color on it was so obvious that that was the perfect color! I was relieved. My friend and I along with our two nail technicians started chatting about not being afraid to speak up when it comes to stuff you’re unhappy about. I explained that the me three years ago would not have spoken up for fear that I would upset someone. Yes, you heard me correctly. I would not have spoken up and it would have been totally acceptable for me to just accept the bad color that I had chosen and I would have just lived with it. Can you believe that? I was paying money for a service, and back in the day I would have been totally OK w sacrificing my own happiness as to not upset someone else, even though there would not really be a reason for anyone to get upset. We all agreed in our conversation that speaking up was the right thing to do; there is no reason at all why you shouldn’t be happy with your choices and we all deserve fabulous nails!!! 

Fast forward to a few hours later that same day this incident occurred and I’m scrolling Facebook and I kid you not, I see a post by one of my friends. It was a meme that basically stated that she would rather walk around d w clumpy nails rather than let her nail technician know that she wasn’t happy w the finished product because she was afraid to speak up. I couldn't believe what I was reading! This exact incident had happened to me that very day expect I spoke up, while my friend seemed to hold that fear that I once had. I commented how life was too short for bad nails and that she most definitely had to speak up for herself! She was paying for a service and deserved to have it done to her liking. Most of the time if you approach an awkward situation positively, it will work out positively. It’s all in your delivery- remember that! My friend genuinely seemed too nervous to ever speak up but I truly hope that if she finds herself in a situation like that in the future, she thinks back to the little piece of advice that I gave her, and that she speaks up for herself. We have to be our own voice because no one else will speak on your own behalf better than YOU!

Now, you’re probably asking yourself what all this nail talk is about. YES, the nails are so very important, but this whole chain of events and thought process leads to something so much deeper than just the nails! 

Life is simply too short for many things and as women we often walk around with various insecurities. Some we wear on our sleeves, while others are internalized and day after day we are drained mentally as we fight against these nasty little insecurities that consume our minds. It could be something as simple as a haircut; ladies, get the bangs for goodness sakes! It’s just hair – it will grow back! ‘My face is too fat’, ‘My hair is too curly’, ‘It wouldn’t look right with the shape of my face’.  Ladies, I’m here to tell you to get over it and cut the damn bangs already! 

Life is too short to not ask for that raise at work! I had a boss about 12 years ago tell me that he couldn’t stand employees that asked for raises.  He and I had a really great working relationship so it was clear that he felt extremely comfortable sharing that information with me. I think he wanted a pat on the back or something for offering up such sound advice (insert sarcasm). He told me that employers frowned upon it and that it just wasn’t a good idea to ever ask a raise, one should simply wait their turn. (Insert eye roll) Now, my younger self developed a complex around that and for years I kept that in the back of my mind. In time I got over that and realized that it was the worst advice he could have possibly given me.  He was wrong.  Maybe that is how he felt about it, but certainly it’s not how every employer feels.  Now, I’m not saying go barge into your boss’s office tomorrow demanding a promotion and a $10K raise. What I will say is this; if you feel that you’ve earned that raise or promotion, then build a strong case for yourself prior to presenting it to your employer.  Be sure to reference all areas of personal growth as they pertain to your current role, some success stories you’ve been a part of along the way, and have your stats ready to go so your request will be taken seriously.  What is the worst thing that could happen, the request be denied?  You have two choices, move on and keep working hard at work waiting for the next opportunity to strike, or look for another job making the money you feel that you are worth. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s most definitely doable.

The sad reality for a lot of women is that we fail to progress and move forward in our lives because we are constantly seeking the approval of others rather than standing on our own two feet and diving into our goals head first.  We are afraid of what other people might say.  We are afraid of their judgment.  How many hours, days, etc. have you let pass by because you didn’t want to put yourself out there for fear of what others might think of you?  Ladies this has got to stop! Life is too short for us to be so concerned with other people’s opinions of us, so much that it impedes our happiness and deters us on our paths to success.  Never in a million years should we ever be ok with sacrificing our own happiness, our own potential achievements because we are afraid of what the world might say.  Stop being afraid, stop making excuses, stop being a talker – BE A DO-ER!!

If you’re anything like me; I have failed at many things over the years because I actually am a DO-ER, but my problem is that I try to do too much and have a hard time letting people down.  I fill my plate so sky high that I am completely overwhelmed and then I’m only able to accomplish two of my goals versus the 15 that I had planned.  I am slowly throwing that awful mindset, you know, the one where you can’t tell people no, STRAIGHT OUT THE WINDOW! 

Life is too short to not feel accomplished in whatever it is you want to pursue or make happen! Set goals, create a plan, and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!  A little more advice coming at ya; be realistic about it.  Stop getting frustrated when you don’t lose 20 pounds in two days.  Stop throwing in the towel after you’ve only submitted 5 resumes and haven’t gotten a call back.  It might take 50 resume submissions before your dream employer contacts you. KEEP FIGHTING FOR WHAT YOU WANT! We are our own worst critics and in doing so, we are inadvertently setting ourselves up for failure.  Don’t be that person anymore! Set small attainable goals or set one major goal and get to work! Figure out what you need to do to get it done!

One last important piece of information that fuels my soul, is the need for women to start lifting one another up rather than tearing each other down.  I see it time and time again – THE HATERS.  Ladies, there is more than enough success to go around for all of us!  Help your fellow friends, neighbors, coworkers, or whoever out! We must support each other in our business ventures, in our relationships, in our personal health and wellness journeys, whatever our journeys are, we simply have to be there for each other.  All of our paths look completely different for each and everyone one of us.  If I can give advice or share my personal experiences with one person that helps them on their journey, then my heart is full.  Never will I withhold knowledge from someone for fear that she might be more successful than me.  I recently had an encounter with another female and I was asking her questions about her business.  The general vibe that I was getting was that she didn’t really want to help me.  Yes, she answered a few questions, but it was short and sweet and I felt like I was bothering her.  What the hell! I was a little taken aback.  Why wouldn’t this person want to help me?  Aren’t we all here to help each other succeed? I know, I know, my bubble just got burst that the world clearly doesn’t work that way, BUT IT SHOULD! STOP being a hater and start being a giver! 

I will leave you with this - Surround yourselves with the Positive Paula’s of the world!  Get rid of the Negative Ned’s; there should be no room in your circle for dead weight or negative energy. Your girl clan should consist of the do-ers, the Positive Paula’s, the women who wake up everyday wanting to feed their own passionate souls all while supporting you while you do the same!

Find your inner passions that feed YOUR soul and use that energy to be a guiding light for others.

Take care and I hope that all of you gems enjoyed the read! xo