Fast forward to a few hours later that same day this incident
occurred and I’m scrolling Facebook and I kid you not, I see a post by one of my
friends. It was a meme that basically stated that she would rather walk around
d w clumpy nails rather than let her nail technician know that she wasn’t happy
w the finished product because she was afraid to speak up. I couldn't believe
what I was reading! This exact incident had happened to me that very day expect
I spoke up, while my friend seemed to hold that fear that I once had. I
commented how life was too short for bad nails and that she most definitely had
to speak up for herself! She was paying for a service and deserved to have it
done to her liking. Most of the time if you approach an awkward situation
positively, it will work out positively. It’s all in your delivery- remember
that! My friend genuinely seemed too nervous to ever speak up but I truly hope
that if she finds herself in a situation like that in the future, she thinks
back to the little piece of advice that I gave her, and that she speaks up for
herself. We have to be our own voice because no one else will speak on your own behalf better than YOU!
Now, you’re probably asking yourself what all this nail talk is
about. YES, the nails are so very important, but this whole chain of events and
thought process leads to something so much deeper than just the nails!
Life is simply too short for many things and as women we often
walk around with various insecurities. Some we wear on our sleeves, while
others are internalized and day after day we are drained mentally as we fight
against these nasty little insecurities that consume our minds. It could be
something as simple as a haircut; ladies, get the bangs for goodness sakes!
It’s just hair – it will grow back! ‘My face is too fat’, ‘My hair is too
curly’, ‘It wouldn’t look right with the shape of my face’. Ladies, I’m
here to tell you to get over it and cut the damn bangs already!
Life is too short to not ask for that raise at work! I had a
boss about 12 years ago tell me that he couldn’t stand employees that asked for
raises. He and I had a really great
working relationship so it was clear that he felt extremely comfortable sharing
that information with me. I think he wanted a pat on the back or something for
offering up such sound advice (insert sarcasm). He told me that employers
frowned upon it and that it just wasn’t a good idea to ever ask a raise, one
should simply wait their turn. (Insert eye roll) Now, my younger self developed
a complex around that and for years I kept that in the back of my mind. In time
I got over that and realized that it was the worst advice he could have
possibly given me. He was wrong. Maybe that is how he felt about it, but
certainly it’s not how every employer feels.
Now, I’m not saying go barge into your boss’s office tomorrow demanding
a promotion and a $10K raise. What I will say is this; if you feel that you’ve
earned that raise or promotion, then build a strong case for yourself prior to
presenting it to your employer. Be sure to reference all areas of personal
growth as they pertain to your current role, some success stories you’ve been a
part of along the way, and have your stats ready to go so your request will
be taken seriously. What is the worst
thing that could happen, the request be denied?
You have two choices, move on and keep working hard at work waiting for the
next opportunity to strike, or look for another job making the money you feel
that you are worth. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s most definitely
doable.
The sad reality for a lot of women is that we fail to progress
and move forward in our lives because we are constantly seeking the approval of
others rather than standing on our own two feet and diving into our goals head
first. We are afraid of what other people
might say. We are afraid of their
judgment. How many hours, days, etc.
have you let pass by because you didn’t want to put yourself out there for fear
of what others might think of you?
Ladies this has got to stop! Life is too short for us to be so concerned
with other people’s opinions of us, so much that it impedes our happiness and deters
us on our paths to success. Never in a
million years should we ever be ok with sacrificing our own happiness, our own
potential achievements because we are afraid of what the world might say. Stop being afraid, stop making excuses, stop
being a talker – BE A DO-ER!!
If you’re anything like me; I have failed at many things over the
years because I actually am a DO-ER, but my problem is that I try to do too
much and have a hard time letting people down.
I fill my plate so sky high that I am completely overwhelmed and then I’m
only able to accomplish two of my goals versus the 15 that I had planned. I am slowly throwing that awful mindset, you
know, the one where you can’t tell people no, STRAIGHT OUT THE WINDOW!
Life is too short to not feel accomplished in whatever it is you
want to pursue or make happen! Set goals, create a plan, and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!! A little more advice coming at ya; be
realistic about it. Stop getting frustrated
when you don’t lose 20 pounds in two days.
Stop throwing in the towel after you’ve only submitted 5 resumes and
haven’t gotten a call back. It might
take 50 resume submissions before your dream employer contacts you. KEEP
FIGHTING FOR WHAT YOU WANT! We are our own worst critics and in doing so, we
are inadvertently setting ourselves up for failure. Don’t be that person anymore! Set small
attainable goals or set one major goal and get to work! Figure out what you
need to do to get it done!
One last important piece of information that fuels my soul, is
the need for women to start lifting one another up rather than tearing each
other down. I see it time and time again
– THE HATERS. Ladies, there is more than
enough success to go around for all of us!
Help your fellow friends, neighbors, coworkers, or whoever out! We must
support each other in our business ventures, in our relationships, in our personal
health and wellness journeys, whatever our journeys are, we simply have to be
there for each other. All of our paths look
completely different for each and everyone one of us. If I can give advice or share my personal experiences
with one person that helps them on their journey, then my heart is full. Never will I withhold knowledge from someone for
fear that she might be more successful
than me. I recently had an encounter
with another female and I was asking her questions about her business. The general vibe that I was getting was that
she didn’t really want to help me. Yes,
she answered a few questions, but it was short and sweet and I felt like I was
bothering her. What the hell! I was a
little taken aback. Why wouldn’t this
person want to help me? Aren’t we all here
to help each other succeed? I know, I know, my bubble just got burst that the
world clearly doesn’t work that way, BUT IT SHOULD! STOP being a hater and start
being a giver!
I will leave you with this - Surround yourselves with the
Positive Paula’s of the world! Get rid
of the Negative Ned’s; there should be no room in your circle for dead weight
or negative energy. Your girl clan should consist of the do-ers, the Positive
Paula’s, the women who wake up everyday wanting to feed their own passionate souls
all while supporting you while you do the same!
Find your inner passions that feed YOUR soul and use that energy
to be a guiding light for others.
Take care and I hope that all of you gems enjoyed the read! xo
